Retirement from gymnastics: and so it is over. Now what ?

Seventeen years ago I had no clue when my gymnastics career would come to an end.

I did not know that I would make it so far and that I would compete in all plenty of national and even international meets.

On hard days, I thought I was done with all of that and that it was time for me to retire. But in fact, those times where just moments where I was not motivated anymore. But then, motivation came back. I kept going because I was passionate and this passion was driving me every single day.

I knew when I joined ASU that those two years would be my final ones. Mentally and physically I knew that I would not be able to keep going forever. I also wanted to transition into the “real world” and to experience something new at some point.

I thought I was ready to retire, until I wasn’t…

At first retirement felt like “long vacations”. I just rested and slept a lot for couple days because I was exhausted. My body and my mind needed to rest and to process this new phase. But, I got bored really fast. So, after having slept forever, I did the only thing I thought I knew how to do: exercise. I had time and I had no idea what else to do, therefore I exercised. I was freaked out about how my body will react to this new life without working out all the time.

Because I had four hours of practice a day, I thought I had to do at least three hours of cardio every single day. Well, let me tell you THAT IS NOT TRUE, and it is stupid…

I had no idea about what I was doing. It was quite UNHEALTHY and I got the confirmation couple weeks later when I had stress fracture on my foot. Being in a boot for couple days or weeks (I am not really sure anymore), I had to find something else to do because exercising wasn’t an option anymore… I started to explore the areas around me and going to a different place every day. Walking was challenging with a boot and not really recommended but I felt like I needed this time outside for myself. The weather was great in Arizona so walking around and sitting in parks felt freeing.

At that time, I was still not realizing that gymnastics was over.

I had this weird feeling inside of me: I was happy, relieved, but I was also sad, nostalgic, and scared.

Happy because I accomplished all of my goals and even did things I did not expect. Relieved because I was not stressed about being able to practice anymore or getting injured. I was also sad and nostalgic because I knew I was going to miss the connections I had with my teammates every single day of my future life. And scared because I had no clue about what the future will look like for me.

I was still with my teammates while I was in Arizona, and I did some trips to visit different places in the US. So, as I stated before, it felt pretty much like long vacation.

But inside of me, I was confused about everything because I knew it was different this time.

I would say that “retirement” hit me on the day I left the US to go back home. At this point, I knew all of it was over and I knew that this old chapter of my life was now closed. It was time to open a new one. I cried for hours on that day but sometimes it is necessary to let go of everything. As I was on the plane, I was also excited for what will happen next. I was excited for grad school and to be able to study something I am passionate about. But before starting grad school, I still had couple weeks to spend at home.

Some of my old teammates told me that once they have retired, their body was still hurting. I never wanted to believe them and I thought it would not happen to me. Well, I was wrong...

(I just want to be clear on that, it is not necessarily the case for everyone. I just share my own experience, but we are all different and therefore we will have different experiences). For the first month, I woke up with something new hurting every single morning. At first, it was just minor things, but on the third week, I couldn’t walk anymore and I was on crutches…Why ? No idea… It just happened like that. My new routine during the entire summer was seeing doctors, doing MRIs and blood tests. Everything could be explained and I am not going to give details on that. I was honestly scared to wake up in the morning the summer following my last gymnastics season because I was done with being in pain all the time. It was a hard time for me. I was bored and didn’t know what to do. I felt very depressed. I was missing my friends and I did not know who I really was without gym. Therapy helped me to process a lot which I am very thankful for. (I will write something about that in the future I think)

When summer ended, it was time for me to go to grad school. At first, it was weird and hard for me to sit in class for hours every single day. Classes were interesting but I wanted to move all the time because sitting was and is still not my thing. I am more an active person if you do not know yet 😊 Anyways, it was an adjustment to make…The transition to grad school went well. My classmates are all great people and we have great connections within the class which makes the learning environment very enjoyable !

Where am I today ?

It took me quite a long time to process all of the emotions related to gymnastics and retirement. The hardest part for me is still having to sit in class for hours 😉 but I have found ways to move. I usually walk when I have time to do so. I learned to listen to what my body needs. I can now notice when I need to rest or when I need to move, which is HUGE PROGRESS !!! My body still hurts almost every single day, but honestly I am used to it now. I have found new interests/hobbies and I enjoy learning more about the hospitality industry every single day.

My coaches always advised me to find new interests/hobbies while I was still doing gymnastics. I never really listen (sorry...)  because I thought I was too busy to focus on something else. But today, having hobbies or even just interests for different things is a gamechanger for me.

Here are some advice:

1. Try to find different interests that you will carry on in your new life after sports.

2. Trust your body and listen to it. It will tell you exactly what it need. I know it is easier said than done because I have struggled with that (and I still do sometimes) but it will help you in this new phase of your life.

3. Talk to someone about what you might feel and experience in this transition period. It was very helpful for me.

Final thought

The good thing is that after having retired from your sport, you still have an entire new life to live. You can start from scratch and be a completely new person if you wish. You can set new goals and have new dreams to chase.

#speakyourtruth#newlife#retirement#gymnastics#transition#challenges#advice#nextstep